Friday, 6 May 2011

Day 6 - Heart-opening communities

Photo by Michael S. Wright

Right now I feel so grateful for community. Earlier on I met with some amazing people to work on a CDC grant, then I attended the Lavender Celebration & Awards Ceremony and once I am done blogging I am off dancing at Soul Friday for the first time and there will be awesome friends there. I feel lucky, blessed and abundant even though the physical soreness is still present. It wasn't always this way though. When I first moved to Minneapolis (USA), I felt isolated. I kept complaining to my very patient therapist of how I knew people but didn't really have friends I could call when I felt down... Finally (and, believe me, it took me longer than I would care to admit), I realized that the isolation I felt was my own fabrication. I had been so busy protecting my tender heart, which had been a little bruised by a major relationship break-up, spiritual initiation and a major geographical move, that I had not noticed that nobody could scale the walls I had built! Just as well I am a lucky bastard though, and I still had friends by the time I noticed, friends that had been patiently waiting for me to be ready to open up, and see the abundance of love in my life.

It was so easy to get bogged down in the pain, the changes and the fear but it was so very lonely there. That's why I am grateful for community because that's where my heart began to peek around the walls and see what a fabulous landscape was waiting for me, if I could at least crack a window! So tonight I dance because community is worth shaking it for. Happy Freya/r's Day peeps, I hope you are having heart-opening delight tonight!

1 comment:

Speaking Truth said...

Alex,

I want to thank you for writing this blog. It touches me deeply. I see so much of myself in what you write. I am hoping it will help me, if that's not selfish. I am desperate for connection, and desperate for community. And I am working to reach out even though it is terrifying. My walls are so strong and so thick and built in layers and layers. But it blocks everything, good and bad. And it is extremely difficult to let anyone in. But I am trying,and that's all I can do. Alex, I am so impressed with what you're doing and I thank you from the depth of my heart.

Sending you strength and courage and a hug or two, if you're willing to accept them.

Be well and be gentle with yourself. You deserve it.

Blessed be,
Emmie